Chapter 41
Haiden:
“You don’t have to keep following me. You have your own squad. Why don’t you go be with them?” Sadie said after I had followed her in silence for a few minutes.
“They can take care of themselves,” I said, watching her slow down and turn around to look at me.
“And I can’t?” she asked, sounding tired. Of course she was. She was pregnant, and they had made her come here. What kind of monsters do that?
“You can, but not in this state,” I said, pointing at her belly. I was trying not to be insensitive, but what could I do? I desperately wanted to give her a coat or a jacket, but I had none. Rue had decided I should flex my biceps while others got cool jackets.
“Haiden, you’re a nice guy, and I don’t blame you for earlier. You didn’t know any better. You were just trying to comfort me. It’s not like I would have survived trying to cross the wires,” she uttered in her sweet and gentle tone, reminding me why she was so different from the others.
“I appreciate that you don’t blame me for it, but I can’t leave you here by yourself,” I said as I continued to walk behind her.
“I’m not by myself. I have my squad mates,” she said with a smile on her lips.
For a woman to be in a state where she couldn’t rest while pregnant and still smile, it confused me. Where did these women get their courage from? They are bold and confident. Then there are men like us, who don’t understand them.
“Yeah, well, your squad mates didn’t stay behind for you. They rushed ahead even when they knew you couldn’t run,” I said, annoyed with them.
“Do you take care of every pregnant woman like this, or is it just me? Because I’m beginning to feel very lucky,” she said, flashing me a smile.
This was the first time I had seen her so relaxed, even though I knew deep down she must have been scared.
“Let’s just say I think there should be better laws to protect pregnant women,” I said, trying to look away to avoid eye contact, but she kept looking at me, as if trying to figure out whether I was being completely honest or if there was another motive behind my kindness.
“Anyway, you can ask me a million questions to distract me, but I’m not leaving your side,” I said, still walking behind her.
“And I’ll find you food as well,” I said with a smile, and she began to smile back at me.
“Where would you get food from?” she asked, stopping to catch her breath. I knew she was exhausted.
“You know, North was never another dimension. It had people living there, so I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to find some food, some supplies,” I said with a smile. I didn’t know why, but every time I looked at her, I felt emotional. I tried to stop myself, because I knew it would make her anxious too.
“I didn’t say it out loud, but I was scared coming here. You see, I don’t get along well with my squad mates because they don’t understand my situation. And of course, I don’t blame them. They’re teens, just like me. To them, I’m a monster too. But I was truly scared,” she said. As she began to sit down, I gently offered her my hand to support her. Once she was comfortable, I stood in front of her, hands on my waist, smiling at her.
“And now?” I asked.
“And now I’m not,” she smiled, giving me a look I knew very well. She was grateful.
For the rest of the day, we were together. I didn’t let her do anything. I built her a small nest, what she called it, so she could sleep in peace at night. I would leave her inside while I stood guard. I didn’t blink during her sleep, and I didn’t show that I was tired too.
I got her fruits, but I began to realize she needed more. She needed protein. So I went out hunting. I did everything I had always thought I would do for a pregnant woman. It meant a lot to me.
Now, we were three days in. We had encountered the Faun only once, and it was far in the distance, playing the flute. I had covered her ears because I didn’t want her to feel any discomfort.
In those three days, we had grown so close. I didn’t think about anyone else, even when my little wolf would remind me that we had a mate somewhere, running around, probably dead by now. I hadn’t felt the pain of her dying, so I guessed she was fine.
But I didn’t want to think about her.
“Haiden, do you mind if I ask you something?” Sadie asked, snapping me out of my thoughts as we sat together around the fire.
“Sure,” I said, giving her a foot massage that she desperately wanted to avoid because she felt awkward having an alpha kneeling in front of her. But I knew her feet must have been hurting a lot. I had learned that when certain herbs are mixed together and massaged onto a pregnant woman’s feet, they help relieve the pain.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked in a softer tone.
“What?” I replied, giving her a smile and a quick raise of my eyebrows.
“I know you’re not in love with me. So why are you doing it? It can’t be out of the goodness of your heart, because the details you notice about me when I’m in discomfort don’t come from someone who just wants to do good for someone. It comes from deep trauma, from a memory. Tell me, I want to know,” she insisted, her voice soft and gentle.
I had finished massaging her feet, so I pulled back and wiped my hands clean.
And I began to wonder if I should tell her the truth or stay deceptive for a while. Because once I admitted the truth, it would be so hard to keep my emotions in check and not explode like a volcano.