Chapter 208
Clementine:
I closed my eyes to deepen the kiss, but the moment he bit my bottom lip I woke myself up.
“What the fuck?” I muttered as I stared around and realized it had just been a dream. He hadn’t come to see me.
He hadn’t kissed me. So why the heck had I imagined him? What was wrong with me? I’d told him I wasn’t going to pursue anything with anyone, so why had I dreamed about him?
Those questions stayed unanswered when the nurse came in and told me I was finally discharged. It was late at night. The ones who would transition were usually let out at night. They asked if I was fine going alone into the woods and I said I was more than happy to.
I left the hospital room and went straight into the woods. I was going to transition quickly and heal quickly. If only they had let me go sooner, I’d have been back in my dorm.
But while I was transitioning, I heard a loud click, almost like a camera shutter. That pushed me back into my human form. When I looked around, I found nothing. It was the oddest thing.
Maybe it felt stranger because being in the north had sharpened my senses from constant fighting. It could be anything, but it was scary. I chalked it up to my mind playing games and decided not to transition again. I’d already healed, so it was fine.
I wondered what had been going on in the academy building. As I walked back toward the academy, still under the barbed perimeter, a lurker appeared out of nowhere, snapped his fingers to get my attention, and pointed at himself.
It was his way of asking me to follow. I didn’t understand why, but I followed him. Once I reached the main hall, I realized they were holding a meeting. As soon as I stepped inside, my squadmates looked at me and rushed over.
“Thank goodness you’re back,” Troy said, hugging me without hesitation.
Yorick pinched Troy’s arm to make him step back, then stepped forward and gently placed his hand under my cheek.
“We missed you,” Yorick said. His hand slipped off my cheek, but I felt the touch like warmth and affection.
“It was so hard for us to sleep without you,” Haiden said, then his eyes widened as he realized how that sounded. “I mean, seeing your bed empty was really hard for us,” he added.
I could tell why. It gave them a small sense of what the Crusaders went through when returning while one of their squadmates didn’t. That feeling was terrifying, and I didn’t want it either.
Ian only stood in his spot and gave me a head nod. I reluctantly nodded back. I wasn’t happy with how he acted. He’d shown so much care back in the north, but on the mainland he was distant.
Finally I stood with them while everyone looked at me except Joshua. He stared at the ground. He looked like he hadn’t eaten in days since we came home. He seemed weak.
Our attention shifted to the ringleaders, who were ready to speak. The three stood wearing their long hoodie capes with colors representing their squads, as always. One by one they took off their hoodies, tied their hands under their abdomens, and looked down.
“It’s sad to announce that even though the task was successful, we lost too many squadmates,” Mr. Rick began, his voice was thick with grief. “Yash was a young boy with a lot of charm. He followed orders well. As for Suki, she was the best at lifting squad spirits and being a good mate. Even when she was recently accused of a bad affair with her squadmate, it didn’t change the fact that her mate forgave her, and the punishment was dropped because of it. Beyond her personal affairs, she was strong and full of spirit. We will take a minute of silence to remember Yash and Suki and pray for them p>
Everyone bowed their heads. I followed, clutching my hands under my abdomen and lowering my head. I noticed Ian didn’t bow. Mr. Rick noticed him too, but they said nothing at the moment.
After he finished the announcement and made his statement, it was time for Ms. Lenora to take the lead. She cleared her throat and started.
“Jessie and her sister have been very supportive and kind since the beginning,” she said. “They were always the understanding ones. I remember when they were on my team and I gave them a task to clear their dorm room in just a few minutes. Those two worked hard so the other squadmates wouldn’t have to. I remember them for many things. The sleepless nights and Jessie’s cries every time I spoke with her, when she told me she missed her sister.” Ms. Lenora paused.
“And then there was Matthias,” Ms. Lenora continued. “He was quiet, but mentally the strongest member of our squad. He wasn’t talkative or flashy, but he got his job done, impeccably. It breaks my heart that he stayed behind after he lost the love of his life. He thought the mainland was worse than the north p>
She sighed, and when she exhaled her eyes snapped to me. I felt like she was judging me.
“He stayed behind on his own after he placed all the blame on one innocent girl who had been running around saving lives p>
Before anyone could fall silent for the Red Squad losses, Ian spoke loudly enough to make everyone look at him, except Joshua. He wasn’t looking at anyone. He was simply detached from the world.
“Sorry, Ian, come again?” Ms. Lenora asked, hands on her hips.
“It’s okay, they’re emotional,” Miss Rue intervened, turning to make a calming gesture toward Ms. Lenora.
“No, I’m not emotional. Why would I be emotional about a sucker?” Ian snapped. “That fucker first put all the responsibility of Jessie on Clementine’s shoulders like she was a babysitter. And then left on his own, not even realizing how many lives could have been lost because of Jessie that day,” Ian continued to hiss.
“You weren’t there, ringleaders. We were. She did her best to save Jessie. How do you think Yash died? Jessie left the door open. We get it, she was traumatized, she was hurting. But that didn’t mean others deserved to die.” Yorick hissed as he remembered that night.