Chapter 66
~ NYSSA
Every retort at the tip of my tongue died the minute his words settled in my mind. I tried to speak but my tongue was tied, and my throat felt like fucking sandpaper.
I wanted to call bullshit on his words. There was no way they could be true, not with how he’d treated me in the past but there was a sharp sincerity in his eyes that floored me.
Rowan was hard to read. He kept his emotions tightly locked behind a neutral wall, but this time, there was no wall. I could clearly see the thoughts behind his eyes and it scared me.
“You are in every inch of my palace,” he continued, taking slow steps towards me, “and your very scent drives me fucking insane p>
He stopped in front of me, the tips of his shoes hitting mine.
I tried to look away but his eyes held mine captive. His gaze was so intense that it sent shivers down my spine. I fisted my hands tightly in my lap, digging my nails into my palms to stop myself from doing something absolutely insane.
“I’m not claiming to be in love with you, Nyssa, I don’t even know that I’m capable of the word p>
“Then what are you saying?” I asked softly, my voice unrecognizable under the sound of my racing heart.
“I am saying that I want you, in a fucking feral way that feels out of this fucking world. I am saying that in the entire time I’ve been on this fucking planet, I have never considered putting another woman in that room but with you p>
He trailed off, not bothering to finish his sentence.
His words scared me more than they should have.
I should’ve been excited, kicking my fucking feet and squealing that he chose me and yet, there was apprehension, not because he said he couldn’t love me. After Henry, I’d come to learn that love was a lie.
I was terrified for a whole other bunch of reasons.
“What if all of this is just the mating bond?” I asked softly.
“What if it is?” he shot back. “It doesn’t change shit. You are my mate, and that isn’t going to change. I don’t want you in another pack, I want you here, where you belong p>
That was as close to a mating proposal as I’d ever gotten, and despite wanting clarity on whether that was what he wanted as well, I was terrified.
Being his mate was not a walk in the park. He wasn’t just any regular wolf… he was a fucking King.
I was a disgraced pack member and he ruled over the wolves.
We weren’t the same species, much less the same social level.
“Say something,” he urged and I sighed deeply.
“I don’t know what to say. This is… it’s confusing. You’re the King p>
“Rowan,” he corrected me. “You’ve never called me the king before, don’t fucking start now p>
His words came out harsher than I would’ve expected but there were too many thoughts on my mind to be bothered by his tone.
I stared up at him.
He towered over me easily and with the sun behind him, it cast a sort of iridescent glow over him, like a halo, but Rowan was no angel. The sun illuminated the scars on his skin and the intensity of his eyes.
As I looked at him I couldn’t help but realize that I knew next to nothing about him. He was an enigma, not just to me but to the whole damned world.
“How old are you?” I asked.
He blinked, clearly taken aback by the question. For a second, he was silent as if pondering whether or not to respond.
“Too old,” he said finally.
At his response, I frowned. “You can’t claim to want this to work and you won’t even tell me something as simple as your age. That’s bull. I’m not going to do this halfway, Rowan. If you want me here, in your pack, then you have to give me something to work with p>
I could tell he was not a fan of my ultimatum.
His jaw ticked, his hands tightening into balls at his side as he exhaled deeply.
I began to wonder if I’d overstepped and pushed my luck too far.
“I knew Henry’s father when he was a boy,” he said finally.
I blinked, dumbfounded.
Henry’s father died years ago and he was almost fifty when he died. That meant that Rowan was at least fifty.
My mouth fell open in shock.
He didn’t look a day over thirty. That couldn’t be… no way.
“Lycans age slower than werewolves,” he explained. “It’s not something we share with the world p>
“Why not p>
He chuckled bitterly, staring down at his hands. “Because there are people who would like to cut us open and see why that is p>
I could tell there was a story behind it, but even I was sensible enough to slam my mouth shut. I’d asked one too many personal questions today and pushed him further than I should have.
He took a step back, clearing his throat as he did. “You will remain in the Queen’s chambers, yes p>
I nodded slowly.
He’d done all that I asked. There was no reason to drag out the issue with the bedroom, especially not when it was a good room.
He started to leave when I realized there was something I didn’t quite understand yet.
“What does this entail exactly?” I asked, bringing him to a stop. “Is this like a truce? Are we going to be friends p>
“Trust me, there is nothing friendly about how I feel regarding you p>
My cheeks burned bright and I squeezed my thighs tightly, looking everywhere but at him.
“You still haven’t answered my question,” I mumbled.
“Somethings don’t require an answer. This works however you want it to work p>
“What if I want to be your friend p>
He gritted his teeth in annoyance. “Then I’ll be your fucking friend p>
“And if I want to be mated officially p>
He turned to face me slowly. “Then I’ll call a fucking priest and make it happen p>